


Cast-Offs

by opalmatrix



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Comfort, Community: Saiyuki_time, Established Relationship, M/M, Memories, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-06
Updated: 2010-03-06
Packaged: 2017-10-07 18:19:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/67872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opalmatrix/pseuds/opalmatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hakkai wants Gojyo to get rid of some baggage, but Gojyo's not the only one who needs to let go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cast-Offs

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [saiyuki_time](http://community.livejournal.com/saiyuki_time/) challenge #8: Spring cleaning. Time given: 2 hours. Time taken: closer to 2.5 hours. It didn't want to wrap up, but Sanzo finally took charge and shut it down. This is actually a long-after sequel to [**A Real Adventurer**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/67871); also available [**on my LJ**](http://opalmatrix.livejournal.com/2057.html). (Written May 2008)

"Hey, it's us!" said Gojyo, cheerfully, opening the door to their suite at the inn. Hakuryu chirrupped back at him, and Hakkai looked up from the piles of clothing he was sorting and smiled. The sitting room instantly felt a little smaller with Gojyo and Goku there, but it was a cozy feeling. Wafts of cool, damp air seemed to enter the room with them, and their faces were flushed and glowing. But Goku glanced at the closed door on the right and seemed to shrink a little.

"How's Sanzo?" he asked, anxiously, in a half-whisper. Hakkai nodded toward the door in question. "Better, I think. He drank some broth, and his fever is down. He should be asleep by now, I hope. Not to worry, Goku - he's really very strong, you know. But he needs quiet."

Goku's shoulders relaxed and he smiled faintly. "Ya don't have to worry about me making noise - the innkeeper and her husband and the cook said I could come play Mahjong with them and have tea and cakes. But Gojyo said I'm too wet to sit on the chairs and I should change."

"He's quite right. You have dry clothes right there on your bed. Put the wet ones in that basket. Gojyo ... yes, you're just as wet."

Gojyo looked up from the cigarette he was lighting and grinned. "Don't worry, I'm not sittin' down 'til I change. I just need a smoke - right now." Behind him, in the little alcove, Goku was stripping down and changing with amazing speed - clearly the almond cookies and bean-jam buns were calling loudly.

"Did you have a good workout?"

"Yeah - we got lucky." Gojyo blew out a thin stream of smoke. "The shit-pickers'd just finished cleaning up the field behind the marketplace - you know, where the farmers park their carts. The drainage is good, so it wasn't real muddy yet."

"I didn't think it was raining that hard - I can hardly hear it."

"Mostly it's not - just spittin' a little. But the wind's blowing it sideways, and it's pretty damn chilly for March. Good thing you convinced Sanzo-sama to stay put."

Goku, resplendent in dry, clean clothes but with his hair half on end, emerged again and gave Sanzo's door another glance. Hakkai frowned at him slightly and made shooing motions. Goku sighed. "OK. See ya later." He shut the door to the suite with exaggerated care and disappeared.

Gojyo, toasting his damp posterior at the ceramic stove built into the wall, gave Hakkai a leer and a wink. Hakkai sighed and gestured at what was spread out on the table before him, on the chairs, and on the floor nearby: almost everything they owned. Gojyo's face fell and he puffed in silence for a moment, watching his friend examine things and rearrange them into different stacks.

"So whatcha doing, anyway?"

"Well, as long as we're stuck here for a couple of days while Sanzo is ill, I thought I would go over everything, to see what needs mending and get rid of what's not worth fixing. This is a good-sized town: we can probably buy anything we really need in the way of replacements. Goku's worn out a lot of his clothes, and he's outgrowing some of them as well ... Gojyo, if you're finished, you should go change. Rub your hair, too."

"OK, OK, I'm on it." Gojyo sighed and retreated into their room. He came out a few moments later, barefoot, in dry jeans and unbuttoned shirt, a towel around his neck. He tossed his wet things in the laundry basket and went dutifully to rub his hair by the stove, his disinterested gaze flickering over the stacks of clothing, the bedding, the cooking gear - suddenly his eyes snapped back to one of the piles of clothes, the one with a plainly ragged shirt of Goku's on the top. He moaned like a soul in torment.

"Hakkai ... !"

Hakkai looked up, surprised. "What, Gojyo?"

Gojyo dove for the pile and pulled out something buried near to bottom. "Not these ... you're not throwing these out, are you?!"

Gojyo was clutching the hideously ugly baggy trousers he'd insisted on wearing for their earliest expeditions with Sanzo, and the expression on his face suggested a child faced with the disposal of his teddy bear. "Gojyo, you never wear them anymore," said Hakkai, exasperated.

"And whose fault is that? You said you liked me better in these jeans! You were lookin' at my ass when you said it ... ."

Well, yes. He had been. And he'd meant it quite honestly, as well as strategically. Those were an extremely hideous pair of pantaloons, and he'd promised himself that he'd never let Gojyo wear them again.

"I **do** like you better in jeans. And in fact, I wish I could get you some leather trousers."

Gojyo's stricken expression wavered for a moment, but then he gave Hakkai an unexpectedly sharp look. "Now you're just tryin' to distract me. Hakkai, no - I wanna keep these."

"Gojyo ... why?"

Gojyo set his chin and looked stubborn, but there was still something childish about his whole manner. Hakkai sighed. He moved the mending pile off one of the chairs and made it fit on the table. "Gojyo," he said, gently, "Please sit and tell me why I can't get rid of those old trousers."

Hakkai's lover gave him a mistrustful look, but he sat down, nursing the bundled pants in his lap. "Damn ... do I have to? Can't I just ... ?"

Hakkai shook his head firmly. "We need every inch of room in Jeep. You know that. Gojyo, I feel like I'm talking to Goku. What in the world is the trouble?"

Gojyo leaned one elbow on the table's edge and rubbed his face. "Fuck. This is going to sound so stupid ... ."

Hakkai waited, patiently. Hakuryu flitted down to land on his shoulder, and his master gentled the little dragon's head with one finger. After a moment, Gojyo began again. "When ... when I was a little kid, there was this movie serial I really, really liked. Jien - my brother Jien used to take me to see the show when he could get the money together. It was this crazy story about a guy travellin' through the jungle, having adventures. He'd fight bandits, find treasure, rescue pretty girls and old folks - that kinda crap. It was pretty lame, I guess, but I loved it." Gojyo patted the pocket of his unbuttoned shirt absentmindedly, and pulled out his cigarettes. "Anyway ... when Sanzo first asked us to go after those guys that were takin' the supplies for the charity school, I went to the surplus place to get some really tough pants .... and there they were. Just like my hero used to wear. These pants. And we were goin' on the same kind of expedition, so ... ."

Gojyo looked up at Hakkai, trying to smile wryly, but his eyes were sad. He stuck a cigarette between his lips and lit it, then shrugged. "Well, so that's it. It's pretty stupid."

He pocketed his lighter and exhaled a cloud of smoke, staring at the wall. His other hand was stroking the old trousers absent-mindedly, much as Hakkai was stroking Hakuryu.

"You're lucky, you know," said Hakkai, quietly, at last. "Most children have to let their dreams go when they grow up, and go tend the farm or run the store. You actually got to follow in your hero's footsteps."

He was rewarded by seeing Gojyo's expression lighten slightly. "Heh. I guess you're right. But I couldn't really be like that guy. He was all educated - knew everything. Never lost his cool, always polite ... ." Gojyo stopped, suddenly, then turned to look at Hakkai, searchingly. He started laughing. "Oh shit, that's too crazy .... !"

Hakkai raised his eyebrows above the rims of his spectacles. "Well ... can you tell me the joke so I can laugh, too?"

"Oh, man ... he had glasses. I thought it was stupid back then, this guy, so badass, takin' down all these bad guys, with glasses. And, like I said, he was real polite ... and ... ." Gojyo's chuckles trailed off uneasily, but at last Hakkai smiled back at him.

"Well. I guess we finally know why you picked me up all those years ago, don't we?"

Gojyo actually blushed, to Hakkai's secret delight. He looked away and took a long drag on his cigarette. "Hell. You weren't even wearing your glasses that night. Ahhh, I guess I don't need the pants. Shit. I've got somethin' a lot better to remember with, don't I? I mean, look at you - you didn't even laugh at me."

"I wasn't even tempted to laugh, really. We all have things we don't want to give up, Gojyo."

"Whatta you mean? You don't have anything like that, Hakkai."

"Yes, actually, I do. I just don't talk about those things very much."

"Eh? What the hell? Why not?"

"Gojyo ... you're ... you have such a good heart. I don't always want to be bothering you with all the dark things I sometimes feel I want to remember."

To his surprise, Gojyo looked angry. He ground out his cigarette with unnecessary force. "Well, I guess there **is** somethin' you can get rid of, after all."

"What do you ... ?"

"That whole attitude. What am I, huh? Some fragile flower? Yeah, in a fight I'm not as strong as you, but have you ever pitched me anything outta your private business that I couldn't handle? You **know** I'm tougher than that. I'm like a cockroach, remember? You can heap all the shit you want on me - I'm still gonna come up smiling."

_Angry, and hurt. _

Hakkai remembered Gojyo's face on that night, years ago, when he'd explained about Kanan: calm, wry, accepting. _Yeah, some people ... go for that, I guess._ And in their bed, for months now - or was it years, already? - Gojyo had always been willing, open, game to try anything he'd suggested. Hakkai stared down at his hands in his lap. "I'm sorry."

"I'll make ya a deal. You can get rid of my old adventure guy pants - but you gotta quit holding out on me with stuff that bothers you. Deal?"

He was holding out one hand for a handshake. Hakkai felt far more inclined to wrap his arms around him and bury his face in that tangled, damp crimson hair, but Gojyo was as serious as he'd ever seen him. Gravely, Hakkai clasped his friend's hand and shook it firmly. "You have a deal ... now, give me those terrible things."

Gojyo huffed at him, annoyed, but handed them over. Hakkai took them gently, folded them neatly, and then pressed them to his cheek, smiling. Gojyo stared a moment, and then grinned. Hakkai put the trousers carefully back in the give-away pile. Then he leaned forward, reaching out to trace circles around Gojyo's kneecap with one fingertip. "I imagine that Goku has only played a couple of hands of Mahjong at this point."

Gojyo captured the errant hand with his own, pulled it to his mouth, turned it over, kissed the palm. Hakkai could feel the tip of his tongue. "They had this huge stack of cookies and shit. Enough to keep him happy for a good long time ... " He stood, pulling Hakkai up as well, and Hakkai gently but firmly freed his hand and then laced all ten fingers into the cool damp tangles of Gojyo's hair.

"This is going to be horrible to comb out," he said, softly. Gojyo smiled between his lover's hands. "Well, then it won't matter if we make it worse, huh -" and planted his lips firmly on Hakkai's. Hakuryu hissed irritably, then gave up and flew off to sulk in the warmth by the stove.

An ominous cough came from behind the closed door across the room. The lovers froze, and then turned their heads in perfect synch as the invalid spoke hoarsely but distinctly from his sickbed.

"When I come out there in a minute, you two perverts better be in your room with the damn door closed."

Gojyo turned to Hakkai, an expression of sheer horror on his face. "How much do you think he heard?" he hissed.

"Oh Gojyo. I think he really **was** asleep. That's why he's so -"

"_Thirty seconds!_" said the voice from behind the door. "My gun's right here under my pillow."

There was a second of silence, followed by a brief tattoo of hasty footsteps toward the second bedroom. The door slammed. There was a faint jangle and creak of bedsprings, and then the suite was almost entirely quiet.

Sanzo emerged a moment later, clutching a blanket around his shoulders. He shuffled over to the stove and poured himself a cup of tea from the pot Hakkai had left warming there. Hakuryu watched him warily, clearly expecting a spill. Staggering a little, Sanzo headed for the easy chair, but was distracted by Hakkai's mountainous inventory project. The rejected trousers were easy to spot. Sanzo stared down his nose at them with red-rimmed eyes, then his lips quirked upward at the corners for a moment. "Adventure guy pants!" he mouthed, silently.

He made his way to the chair. His reading glasses and newspaper were there on the lamp table, where he'd forgotten them last night. He settled in as comfortably as he could to read and sip and wait for Goku, steadfastly ignoring the faint whispers and creaking and groans that occasionally emerged from behind the other door.

 


End file.
